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A columnist looks at 40

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2007-05-21

By the time you read this, I’ll have turned 40. Big freaking’ deal, you say.

Well, it is. Being 40 seems like an impossible age for me to be, particularly because I don’t feel like I’ve learned enough. It’s only been in the last year or so when certain things have made sense to me. It takes me forever to get stuff done, it seems, and that’s okay when you’re younger, but only recently have I realized I don’t have as much time as I used to. Oh, I’m not worrying about dying anytime soon, but when you reach 40, you start to think that time is running out.

But I will say that in the past few months, my life has turned upside down. I’m still not quite where I want to be, but there have been a series of exciting firsts: I sold my first fiction, and the place that bought it will publish more of my work in an e-book when I get enough material together, I made my debut as an actress, and I’m in my first serious relationship ever. It’s happening so fast, sometimes I wonder if it’s all real.

I’m also in the process of changing careers, something that has been going on for the past six months. I’ve run into some challenges, but I think with time, practice and some anti-anxiety medication, I’ll eventually win. I saw a commercial for a local college, and featured a student who was talking about changing careers and how scary it was to start over at the age of 30. Gimmie a break! How about reaching the age of 39 and realizing you may never earn a decent living at the one thing you enjoy and are good at? How about being a 50-year-old factory worker who’s been downsized from a job he or she has had since graduating high school? What about the middle management person who can no longer afford his home because they can pay the recent college grad who replaced him a third of his salary and perhaps half the benefits? Dealing with change is a part of life, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

That being said, people need to stop using their ages as excuses for not going after their dreams. I pride myself on being a practical person, but it sorta bugs me to hear people say, “well, I’m 45 years old; it’s always been my dream to go to law school, but I’m too old for that.” Says who? YOU. And how old are you going to be if you DON’T give law school a shot? If you’re brains are still working and you have the money to go, give it a shot. Hell, if you don’t have the money, get some student loans and mortgage your future, like just about every other college graduate has done.

People have to live their entire lives. Yes, I accept the fact that I’ll never be an Olympic-class gymnast or figure skater, but I can always take dance or skating lessons and feel less clumsy in real life. It’s important to have goals, but set some that you can reach.

And sometimes, you have to do something that scares you. Acting was something I always wanted to try, but wasn’t sure how to go about it. But I got up there, said my lines, and had a blast. The story I wrote was an idea I had floating around in my head for weeks, and one day I decided to write it down. I was so pleased with it, I went hunting for a website that might be interested. And the first site I contacted wanted it. Why now, after years of rejection? I’ll never know. Just because I’m not making a living at writing right now doesn’t mean it will never happen. In the past few months, I’ve learned you shouldn’t ever say “never.” Because, you just never know.