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The Straight Story

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2005-07-11

Thanksgiving is a ways off, but I already know what I’m going to give thanks for come November. And that would be my Conair Thermal Shine model CS21.

I was born with gobs of naturally curly hair, something I’ve resented ever since I first had to brush the explosion of corkscrew curls emanating from my scalp. I wanted long straight blonde hair, or at least if not that, I wanted the respect that came with it. Blondes got everything in life it seemed. Blonde dolls were everywhere when I was a child. Try finding a caucasian doll with dark hair in the early 70s. I knew the score, even when I was a little kid.

I had big hair when it was popular and big hair when it wasn’t popular. Long or short, it always seemed to look the same. And if I got the right hairdresser, occasionally, it would look good. That would be when I first walked out of the shop. I never could get it to look as good at home.

But the constant factor, regardless of the quality of hairdressers I encountered, was that my hair always looked the same. Curly, curly, curly. Corkscrew curls, soft spiral curls, and my all-time favorite, frizzy ends. The longer my hair got, it seemed all the curl power was focused on the ends, making my hair look like a pyramid.

Then, this last holiday season, I came over to pick up my niece for a movie. She was straightening her hair with something that looked like a flattened curling iron. I was amazed at how straight her hair got. “Where did you get it? How much was it?” I asked.

So I picked one up at a local store. I got the larger, two-inch wide model. I took it home and plugged it in. I cranked up the setting as high as it could go, took a lock of hair, clamped it between the irons and worked my way down to the end. And whoomp! there it was: perfectly straight shiny hair. Where was this divine tool of the gods when I was in high school? When I was done with my entire head, I couldn’t believe it. I could run my fingers through my hair and they wouldn’t be stopped by any tangles, because they simply weren’t there.

I know those of you who spend outrageous sums on perms are probably rolling your eyes right now. But believe me, when you have hair like mine, and the humidity hits, the hair goes from being merely big to gigantic. When my own mother made the observation that I looked like Gene Shalit, I knew something had to be done, but what?

So thank you, Conair, for making straight hair a reality without having to use chemicals. The multiple heat settings allow for either really straight hair, or a slight wave.

What about the blonde color? Well, I’ll stay a brunette I think. It’s more me. But I’ll probably live to see the day when a multi-function hair appliance comes out that will either curl or straighten your hair, and throw a little color in when you want it. Add a built-in MP3 player and cell phone and voila! I’d call it the iSalon. Conair, are you listening?