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It's Still August, Dammit!

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2018-08-18

I was in the dollar store the other day, and was flabbergasted to see Thanksgiving decorations. FFS. It's still August. AUGUST! It's bad enough school starts in the middle of August now, but Thanksgiving decorations??? Next thing you know, it's Saint Patrick's Day, then Easter.

I'm sick of it, but that's the way retail is. And life in general. Fast-forwarding things that really don't need to be celebrated three months in advance. Or maybe I'm just hopelessly out of step.

Yes, I know time seems to whiz by if you are an adult. That doesn't necessarily mean that Christmas decorations need to be in stores by June (I'm looking at you, Hobby Lobby.) Actually, there was one summer where that store had honest to God Christmas decorations in June. I complained to the cashier, who suggested, “HobbyLobby.com.” I can understand Christmas-themed crafts, because if you are knitting a seven-foot by four-foot Advent calendar afghan, you need time for that shit. But décor? Forget it.

I remember a February where my mom asked me to pick up salt to take care of ice on a porch. Heading over to the grocery/sell everything store, I couldn't find ice melt. Swim suits and grills, yes. I ended up going to the grocery side and picking up several containers of table salt.

And there's back to school stuff in June, Halloween candy in August, Valentine's stuff in December, Mother's day stuff in February, Father's day reminders in March. It's tiresome.

But oddly, I'm okay with the fashion industry showing spring clothes at the fall shows, and fall clothes at the spring shows. You need time to make clothes. And I guess technically, you need to make stuff months in advance, because if it's being made in China (and what isn't?) it needs to be ordered, made, shipped overseas, put on trucks and farmed out to Wal-mart two months in advance.

Because people WILL buy it. At my store, I'm sure the giant inflatable Halloween lawn displays will be rolling in in a couple weeks or so. When I complained that Halloween and Christmas décor shouldn't be out at the same time, the response I got was, “people will buy it.” It's still August. And what's with Halloween candy being out already? Do you actually think people are going to buy bags of York Peppermint Patties and freeze them? I spoke with a customer at Meijer who was confused about when Halloween was. He thought it was September 31. I said, no, it was actually six weeks away. He had a problem believing this, but I insisted I was right. (I love being right.) He questioned why the candy needed to be out so early. I said it was so potential diabetics could get a head start.

I know time sneaks up on all of us, but I don't need a constant reminder that Christmas is 131 days away or whatever. I can't get into the spirit of the season until December 27th or so. Our family noted January 6, also known as Three Kings Day, which is when my dad said he got his Christmas gifts. And what happened to the Twelve Days of Christmas? Now, it's the two months before Christmas and let's throw the tree out on the 26th. Really? I always get sad when I see trees out the day after, but I guess if you've had a tree up for two months, you get kinda done with it.

So, Happy New Year, everyone! Don't forget about those President's Day sales!