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Columnist quits Facebook — Part 2
By Gloria Diaz
Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!
Fort Wayne Reader
So far, I've not been on my personal Facebook page for about a month, and it's bliss. I still have other pages devoted to my businesses, but I've transferred editorship for those to my alternative FB profile. (Doesn't everyone have an alternative FB profile?)
I'll admit, it's a bit inconvenient. People who don't know my email or phone number can't contact me, because we connected through Facebook, of course, and I didn't leave a forwarding address. Facebook claimed my friends would miss me, but so far, I haven't received any frantic postcards asking me where I am. My friends don't miss me. That's fine. I haven't met most of them in person anyway.
I got off Facebook for a couple of reasons, which I won't go into here. Briefly, I said what I wanted to say, and got the hell out of there. And I'll leave it at that.
But I've felt less stressed about things, even though from a certain view, things suck right now. I'm all out of f^%#s to give. If the career falls through here, I've got a Plan B lined up. And the more I think about Plan B, the more excited I get, which is good.
So, no Facebook is good. Anytime people are involved, there's drama. And I'm tired of other peoples' drama, like:
Women of all ages posting selfies with an emphasis on cleavage, ass, or both, then wondering why they are getting all sorts of vulgar comments. Ladies, I'm on to you. Sex sells, and men really aren't interested in how you are fighting childhood poverty, promoting AIDS awareness, volunteering for Meals on Wheels, how you visit area nursing homes playing your guitar, your devotion to helping the homeless, fighting the heartbreak of psoriasis, or your artwork. They don't care. Not a single one of them cares. You can get their attention by posting a cleavage selfie, but they will be focused on your two assets, not your many causes. So please don't act disappointed when you post these shots, then have complete strangers tell you they want to blank your blank with their blank. You want validation, and the selfies are a way of getting it. Don't worry, I do it to promote one of my businesses. And I feel guilty about it, unlike you.
The drink shots. Hey, look where I am and what I'm drinking! Hey, I'm drinking another beer. Here's me doing a tequila shot. I love tequila. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor! I get it. You're an alcoholic, or if not quite there yet, you're a serious drinker. I have a theory about people who drink a lot. They are dumb, not very creative, and therefore boring. And their livers are trashed. And you ask why you look so old. Alcohol is drying. Enjoy what's left of your liver. By the way, you look old.
The “Honeymoon” period of new couples. I've seen this one happen. They meet, they fall in love, they move in after three weeks, the engagement happens, delirious plans are made for the wedding, then a relationship status update: single. We see the bliss, but of course, we don't see the piss. More than once, I've read about these relationships and wonder what happened, but of course, nobody wants to share THAT.
The serial relationship. I actually unfriended someone because over the course of a couple years, it was, meet a guy, fall in love, then after two-three weeks, there would be these mysteriously vague posts about wondering what love is, then some very independent feminist-type posts … until the next guy came along. I always thought this young lady should cool it, and just be by herself for a while, but no. I got tired of reading it, so, unfriended.
The all-political rant. You never hear about this person's pets, what they had for lunch, or what they did on their day off. It's always one subject, and it's always political.
The overly religious/superstitious posts. These are the ones that say if you don't send the blessing you just received to at least 15 people, you'll have bad luck. Or the “blah blah, blah, blah, can I get an Amen” posts. Or the, “I'm Christian and if you're not, you can go to hell.” Isn't being Christian—oh hell, never mind. I think I've asked these questions before. For a country founded on religious freedom, I'm always amazed at how people get pissed off if you say you don't practice one. Freedom of religion also means freedom FROM religion.
I think another reason why I'm more relaxed is because there's Facebook life, and real life. I remember being shocked when the rapturous posts by a friend about her husband contrasted with real life when I asked this friend if she wanted to get coffee and catch up. She said her husband gets mad when she goes places without him.
So yeah, the great vacations you see on Facebook might have been financed with a now maxed-out credit card, the booze pics may be the self-medicating solution for a lousy life, and the provocative selfies are posted by women who need some real self-esteem, as well as a break from western society. Facebook shows our best selves. But I know the reality. And that's why I want a break from it.