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Columnist Shuns Facebook, Gets a Life

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2017-05-23

I've deactivated my personal Facebook account, and I don't really miss it. I have other pages that I run for various things, but my Gloria Diaz page? Deactivated.

I've left it for a couple of reasons, one of which is that it wastes my time. And it's also kind of depressing. I seem to be bombarded with posts with various suggestions and declarations. “You create your own destiny.” “Put your big girl pants on. “You invite everything that exists in your life.”

I don't remember saying as a child, “okay juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, come into my life and disrupt it,” but maybe I did it subconsciously in my sleep. We are so addicted to self-help in this country, that we are absolutely convinced we have control over everything, and becoming rich and living our best lives is nothing more than visualizing success and working hard (up to a certain point.)

So I found that not logging on to Facebook and seeing memes/posts/links to things which basically say, “everything is your fault” is quite liberating. I guess, according to Facebook, trying and failing is both good and bad. If you fail, it's a mistake that you can learn from, but failing is absolutely your fault.

I'm tired of it.

I'm also tired of seeing the same posts all the time: political posts that stretch the truth, constant pictures of what people are drinking or eating, “people who are pro-choice suck, can I get an amen?”, vaguebooking (worst day ever, I can't believe what happened today) with no details whatsoever, women who post selfies emphasizing their cleavage and are horrified at the comments, people from high school who friend you just to try and rope you into their weight-loss/supplement pyramid schemes, the honeymoon period for new couples who meet and become engaged in three months' time, then all of a sudden break up, the graphic images of children who have been badly beaten and will get free hospital treatment if the post gets a million likes, sanctimonious posts from Christians who preach family values, but have several children from different spouses and have never been married, and the click bait posts: this dog peed against a street sign, you won't believe what happened next!

I may get back on someday, but for now, it's a nice break. No drama, no pro-Trump/anti-Trump posts, no plates of food, outrageous drinks, or anything else.

I don't have to feel guilty that I'm not in some exciting city, eating a $50 steak, or starting my dream business, or envying that young couple disgustingly in love, starting out their lives with a new home, new cars, and fancy new jobs. It was a shock to privately message someone, trying to make plans for a girls' night out, to find out that her husband doesn't like her going anywhere. I certainly didn't get that vibe from her Facebook posts.

And for someone who appreciates truth and doesn't like to sugarcoat things, maybe that's the main reason I'm not spending time on Facebook. For most people, what they post is a front—it's their fantasy life, emphasizing the littlest positive thing, so the rest of their lives don't look as bad as they are.

Right now, I've reached a state of calmness. I don't know how long it will last, but worrying is exhausting. I'm going to try and approach things in a new way.

Indiana woman takes a break from Facebook. You won't believe what happens next!