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Let me tell you a tale of the Guardians of the Galaxy

By Bert Ehrmann

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Fort Wayne Reader

2017-05-04


Gather round and let me tell a tale that will shock, horrify and electrify you.

I have a little secret to admit — according to some very high profile sources, one of which is me, I’m the one person in the world that didn’t care for the 2014 movie Guardians of the Galaxy. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that I didn’t like GG. Think of how odd that is coming from a superhero and sci-fi junkie who’s spent many a Saturday night scanning Netflix, then Amazon Prime and then Netflix again looking for anything superhero or sci-fi to watch — to say that he doesn’t like a superhero sci-fi movie that the masses loved, that made nearly $800 million at the box office is practically sacrilegious. But it’s true, I’m no a fan of Starlord, Drax, Groot, Gamora or any of that interstellar bunch.

That’s not to say that I’m a fan of each and every superhero movie. No way! I didn’t care for either of the Thor movies and thought a lot of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was a drag. But I don’t dislike either of those two movies. I’m not a fan of them but will still watch them if I happen to be flipping around the dial and catch an airing. Yet, I’m not that way for GG, and it’s not like I haven’t tried.

For starters, I didn’t see GG in the movie theater, though that’s not that uncommon these days since I watch most movies at home via digital download. A few of my friends did see it there and said it was wonderful and some called it their favorite superhero movie ever. And online reviews of the movie were generally glowing too.

Plus, I was always a huge fan of the GG comics and the whole superheroes in space subgenre that emerged in the 1990s, of which this film was adapting and updating, too. So, once GG was available I immediately rented it and sat down to watch what I was assuming was going to be a great experience.

Except it wasn’t. Right from the start, right from Peter Quill as a kid being abducted by aliens to adult Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) trying to steal something, getting caught, trying to talk his way out of trouble before finally having to fight his way out of it — I knew the movie was in trouble for me. And here’s the thing, I’m not sure why.

I don’t mind it when characters have smart-mouths, I loved Deadpool. And I don’t mind it when movies are over the top in terms of action, I love things like Mad Max: Fury Road. But for whatever reason these elements in GG just didn’t click for me.

And it’s not like I haven’t tried to like the movie. When I told those same friends I didn’t like the movie as they were getting Groot Christmas presents and rewatching their Blu-ray of GG for the many-ith time, they couldn’t believe what I was saying. It was like GG was made for me, it was a combination of the genres I like and even had story elements from comics I liked and collected. So surly there must’ve been something wrong with me since I didn’t like it. Either I didn’t like GG because everyone else did, which I don’t think so since I’m generally not like that — I either like something or I don’t and aren’t ashamed to say so, or maybe my initial viewing of the film was sub-optimal. That what I needed to do was to go back and watch it again. So I did. Since it was released I’ve watched GG two more times and every time the viewing’s over I come away with the same review, “Meh.” To me, GG isn’t bad but it’s not good either.

And now comes the forgone sequel Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 that’s currently in theaters. If it’s anything like the first GG it’ll be a film that most people I know will love and cherish. But for me it’ll be a movie where I’m on the outside looking in trying to figure out what all the fuss is about.

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