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An Appropriate Performance for a Crazy Year

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2017-01-11


It’s a new year, and I’m feeling hopeful (alert the media!). But, apparently, and appropriately, one of the last performances of the year was as bizarre as 2016 was. I wasn’t watching New Year’s Rockin’ Eve or whatever it’s called, but I heard that Mariah Carey’s performance was bad, bizarre, painful, and unbelievable—much like 2016 itself.

I logged on to Facebook to say Happy New Year, and everyone was talking about Ms. Carey. I watched the performance the next day. I hope whoever paid for her to show up got their money back. I guess the problem was the monitors. Ms. Carey couldn’t hear herself, and that’s why she didn’t sing. I don’t like live lipsync performances. It’s one thing if it’s a contest, but someone established on a stage lip syncing? No.

I think Ms. Carey should have tried. She should have tried to make the best of a bad situation. But what do I know? Instead, both the internet and I are passing judgment. I wasn’t fond of her outfit—looked like a nude, sparkly, one-piece swimsuit. Then, it looked like a filmy skirt got hooked on during the second song. I discussed it at work with someone at work, and she wondered why Ms. Carey was even picked—“she’s not relevant” was my millennial co-worker’s assessment. I was just going to ask her about Madonna, when she continued that Madonna has evolved, so she’s okay. I’m thinking there’s something to that. Ms. Carey seems more about bling and revealing clothing. That’s okay maybe, when you are first starting out, but Madonna isn’t wearing the rags in her hair and rubber bracelets. She’s way past that.

I’ve never been a fan of Ms. Carey’s music anyway. I don’t know if she’s hip hop, soul, r&b, or what. So watching New Year’s Rockin’ Eve for me is more of a yawn/WTF was that experience. Because I have an analog television set, it means I haven’t seen it in several years. If I had been home, I probably would have popped in a DVD and cleaned or work on writing or craft projects.

So I guess I didn’t miss much. A train wreck of a performance, for a year of incredible loss in terms of artists, the usual fighting somewhere in the world, the little boy in the ambulance covered in blood, and a political season that was beyond ugly, which actually destroyed friendships.

It seemed like a fitting end for a year of loss. An awkward AF, nearly nude non-performance by someone who could have done much better.

Years ago, I read an interview by someone who worked for Sony, and dished the dirt on Ms. Carey. Apparently, she’s a studio rat—she spends hours and hours making sure every note sounds right. Which is something you can’t do during a live performance. Either no one did a sound check, or the equipment pooped out during the show. It happens. But it proves that you have to be prepared for a lot of problems. And it’s pretty obvious that if someone isn’t singing because they can’t hear themselves, then you put a recording of them singing so they can lip sync and they don’t even want to do that, well, it takes a bad situation and makes it even worse. It makes me appreciate the days of live television, when shit happened, but people got it done. If she does get another live performance offer (ha ha) perhaps we should all keep a Mariah Carey song handy on our phones, so if she messes up, we can listen to a quality performance, and pretend that’s what’s coming through the television. The Boy Scouts say, “Be prepared.” Maybe next time we’ll know better.
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By the way, I have a book signing Tuesday January 10 at 1 p.m. at the IPFW bookstore in the Walb Union. I’ve got at least six agents interested in one of my projects, so come out and say hello so you can say you met me back in the day!

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