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"Hello"? More Like Goodbye

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2016-02-19

I know Adele released a new album, but I didn’t buy 21, and I’m not buying 25. And that probably makes me a bad person.

She just doesn’t speak to me. She’s different, but she’s not. Right now I am listening to “Hello” and I just don’t get it.

And maybe it’s my age. I remember when I first heard Fiona Apple’s “Shadowboxer.” My jaw just about hit the floor, because it sounded jazzy and bluesy and torchy. She sung about the dangers of falling in love—we crave it, but it can destroy us. And yet, we still hope. I’d never heard anything else like it at the time on the radio, and I was wondering how the hell the song got on the radio. I loved it. I loved that she wasn’t wailing at the top of her lungs hitting triple high C. At last, there was someone I could sing along with. (Contraltos don’t get no respect—but they are memorable. Ever hear of Karen Carpenter?)

So I’m listening to some of the songs from 25 thanks to YouTube. I just got through “Hello,” and I’ve noticed that videos are like mini movies now. The song might actually be four minutes long, but there will be a minute and a half of the singer looking pouty, pissed, or doing some mundane task, then they start singing.

Some of the songs. That’s right. Because when I did a search for the album, there are lots of uploads with that title, but I’ve yet to find an upload of JUST the album. Lots of wannabe rock stars are claiming they have the new album uploaded, but click on it, and you can hear not Adele, but a fan singing a cover, and getting way more clicks on their video than they normally would have.

Annnnnd I give up. The two actual songs I listened to “Hello” and “When We Were Young” sound like they are all on the same vein.

About the only song I’ve liked from Adele is “Rumor Has It” which has a nice, 1960s vibe and some attitude to it. But listening to someone go on and on and on about the pain of lost love is just sort of annoying. I’m glad she’s making money and all, but Adele doesn’t really speak to me. There’s nothing much in her music that really makes me want to sing along with her. Not like Fiona Apple. She’s been shat upon too, but I don’t know, there’s something about Fiona that I just respect way more than Adele.

Maybe someday, Adele will put out an album that I really like. Until then, I’ll be one of the handful of people who wonders what all the fuss is about, kind of like when Lady Gaga made it big. Wasn’t there an outrageous blonde a few decades ago that everyone was talking about? Yeah, I didn’t like Madonna when she first came out. Thought she was a slut. But I grew to like her catchy tunes, even though I couldn’t really identify with her. (And she’s way out of my range.) So, yawn, Lady Gaga.

The dearth of music that appeals to me makes me long for the 1990s again. Perhaps Lorde will come out with another album like Pure Heroine that will make me say, “yes, at last, someone who gets it.” Until then, I’ll listen to Fiona Apple again and again, and Lorde, and wait patiently until the Next Big Thing That Gloria Likes comes along.