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The Evil Trifecta Men of Blind Date

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2016-02-09


I’m still watching Blind Date. It’s always hilarious when self-confessed party boys have one too many drinks and start puking. Or when a sexually aggressive woman is too much for the man. Make up your minds, guys! Doesn’t every man want a slut?

I will say it seems like the men on this show do end up looking like complete tools. Sometimes if a date doesn’t go well, BD will invite the person back for a second, third, fourth, or sometimes fifth shot. One viewer wondered what if a woman ended up with “Mandangelo”, “Cocktails”, and the “Aww Kitty Kitty” guys one right after another. If a woman had dated all three in a row, she might decide to be celibate for a while, if not for the rest of her life. That’s what I think. Because these guys were just …pathetic and weird.

So who are these notorious Blind Daters? Mandangelo’s real name was Joseph, but he didn’t feel that was classy or seductive enough. So in the first few minutes of the date, he created “Mandangelo” and continued to shout it out, accompanied with “Oooh Ooooooh,” a sort of mating call/battle cry. It didn’t help that he had a hat that the Blind Date writers described as being from the “Gilligan collection.” He and his date, Mikel, went horseback riding, had dinner and drinks (this is the standard format for BD.) During drinks, he draped his date’s right foot with cherries and alcohol, and proceeded to lick them. This alone is enough to make me want to throw up, but whatever. During the ride home, Mandangelo/Joseph thought it would be okay to ask his date to show him her -----. She was shocked by that. Mandangelo/Joseph was surprised at how angry she got, because according to him they’d been talking dirty all day and both of them were exhibitionists. But that was the final nail in the coffin. The first one was declaring himself “Mandangelo” and hooting, the second one offensive slurping noises during dinner. The third was asking to see “the love box.” Not cool, Joseph. Not cool.

The “Cocktails” guy was almost a stereotype. He looked quite a bit older than the 35 he admitted to. His demeanor was that of the boozy, traveling salesmen who still thinks he’s 18. His date, Christine, was 29, but dressed in an astonishingly skimpy outfit and some of the ugliest sandals I’d ever seen. He got things rolling by saying he was a bi-polar, manic-depressive alcoholic (such a turn-on). The date actually looked like it was going well, despite Steve declaring “Cocktails!” every few minutes. They had a wine-filled lunch, and then headed towards dinner. Apparently the service wasn’t up to par, because right after Christine asked Steve what he was going to do on the weekend, Steve said he wasn’t going to do anything until he got a server’s attention. Steve’s sudden mood swing threw cold water on the rest of the dinner. Steve suggested a hot tub, but Christine gracefully left, finishing her dinner at home. Neither one of them wanted to go out with each other again. This date was funny, but usually the bad dates start out bad and get worse. This one started out great, but Steve getting upset with the service at the restaurant (which could easily happen) turned a great date into a bad one. I’m thinking that some creative editing went into that one.

Keith, the “Aww Kitty Kitty” guy, was like a milder version of “Mandangelo”. For whatever reason, Keith burst out with “Aww Kitty Kitty,” to his date’s consternation. I’m not sure if she really didn’t understand the kitty reference. As an adult woman, she should have made the connection. Keith thought it was a cute saying, but repeating it over and over and over when his date, Lisa, didn’t like it wasn’t improving matters any. Newsflash, guys: if you do/say something over and over and over, and your date is questioning it and/or doesn’t like it, and you’re too much of a coward to explain what the actual meaning of the saying/gesture is, you need to stop.

I don’t know why that’s so hard to figure out. But the cluelessness makes for entertaining television. The viewer comments from both sexes when the guy screws up on the date are pretty brutal—and funny. One commenter mentioned this date went “Aww Shitty Shitty.”

And that’s a pity.

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