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Buzzfeed is Her New Addiction

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2014-08-14

I spend too much time online these days, thanks to my Samsung Galaxy 3. It's ironic that I don't use my phone for talking, but for reading. I can do Facebook updates away from home, and snap interesting pictures (I saw my first spent bullet in Target's parking lot the other night, and uploaded photos of it with a witty comment) but when I want pure entertainment, I go to Buzzfeed.com.

If you're hooked on lists, you know about Buzzfeed. I'm not sure what their target demographic is, but they seem to be hitting teens through forties, I'm thinking. Either that, or I have a young mindset. But I'm looking at the site right now, and here's this evening's lineup: “21 Things Every Single Indian Girl is Sick of Hearing”; “10 Vintage Swimsuits You Can Actually Wear in the Summer”; “23 Reasons Why Middle School Was the Worst For Everyone” (It was for me); “17 Hilariously Terrible Movies Everyone Should See”(I've seen two of them); and “17 Reasons We Should All Want to be Rudy from 'Misfits'”. I have no idea what that is, but I can always learn. Another article is “15 Signs You Are Definitely Ballin' on a Budget.” Since I'm broke right now, I'm going to go check that one out. Oh yes, number six I can identify with: You Water Everything Down (except alcohol). Your dish soap bottle is primarily water and bubbles at this point, and your hair feels like a horse’s tail with the highly uneven ratio of conditioner to water left.

I don't water down my conditioner very much, because I know what my hair would be like if I did. Another sign is, “You've become an accidental vegetarian.” Steak? Chicken? Fish? Forget it. With the exception of the occasional meal out or hot dog, you find yourself nostalgic for the days when your parents fed you and meals had every food group. I am nostalgic for those days, not necessarily for the balanced meals, but because my mother was a good cook. Also, I don't like to cook. When I actually put pan to stove, or plug the Crock Pot in, I do a good job. It is rare that I make something I absolutely hate. It's just that I don't like the prep work, the standing over the stove, and the unenthusiastic person (me) waiting for the food. I like cooking for others, because it's just one more thing I like to show that I'm good at, but cooking an entire Thanksgiving meal for myself is doable, but depressing.

The rest of the signs are kind of funny. I rarely eat when I grocery shop because the free sample ladies usually are not around after I get off work at 11 p.m. I'm not so down and out that I cruise the produce department and stuff myself full of cherries and grapes (but I'm getting there, ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting there.)

I also like the Buzzfeed quizzes, like what city you should live in (Rio) what kind of burger you are (I'm a veggie burger, who knew?) what kind of a bitch I am (Boss Bitch, the Beyonce of bitches) and my theme song is “Run the World (girls)”. (Must be Beyonce night.)

Probably my favorite thing about Buzzfeed is that it makes me feel happy. It's lighthearted stuff (for the most part) that reminds me of how much I loved the 90's, and the absurdities of everyday life. Every list or quiz is accompanied by several GIFs or pictures relating to the article. I just now whizzed through “23 Experiences All Billingual Spanish Speakers Have Had” and I've not had them all (I'm not fluent, but I can usually figure it out) and one thing I do chuckle over is businesses translating English words and phrases into Spanish and seeing if they did it right, or reading the translation, and seeing what it is literally saying. (Or trying to say.)

And now that I have wireless internet at my house again, I think I'll be spending some late nights scrolling on Buzzfeed for my feel-good reading before I go to bed. I recommend “24 Photos You Really Need to Look at To Understand.” You WILL see a (seemingly) headless hockey player, but you will NOT see an exposed breast. Or breasts. Gentlemen, you have been warned!