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Hollywood got what it wanted — but won't admit it

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2013-03-14

I haven't watched commercial television at home for several months now. I don't have Internet access at home any more either, and I find myself reading more.

However, in the light of Seth MacFarlane's Oscar hosting, I really do wish I'd been able to watch it. I am reading the backlash MacFarlane is getting for the jokes and songs he presented. Which doesn't make sense to me, because if you are hiring the creator of Family Guy to host your show, do you REALLY think it's going to be tasteful? I mean, REALLY. I'll never understand people who think that just because a certain situation presents itself, that people are all of a sudden going to change character. Because it's the Oscars, Seth is going to behave himself. Because it's the Super Bowl, pop singers are not going to be ripping someone else's clothes off. Right. And I'm sorry, but it wasn't Janet Jackson who bared herself. It was Justin Timberlake who RIPPED her jacket open. People always forget that, as if Janet walked out on stage and whipped her jacket open for kicks. That halftime show was produced by MTV, the network known for taste and decorum. Sure. I missed that one too—just your ordinary, wholesome halftime show.

It's all hype—Hollywood is pretending to be outraged, but I'm thinking this is JUST what they expected—and got. I thought the “We Saw Your Boobs” song was hilarious. People can talk about context all they want, but if you show your boobs in a film, YOU made that decision. If you are an A-list actress, you can pretty much refuse to do it. If you are just starting out, lots of luck. I don't know what the fascination/fear is about boobs, but anytime you see a movie that has nudity, you can bet everything you own it will be FEMALE nudity. Breasts on American commercial television will cause you to go blind, faint, and harm you for all eternity, but breasts in movies—well, that's okay. Why is that particular part of the female anatomy so intimidating and powerful? I remember being excited when I watched Sex and the City The Movie and saw a glimpse of male member. Why? Because it's about time we saw a naked guy in a mainstream American movie!

It's all about money, pretty much everywhere. And even though women don't make as much as men, there are extremely wealthy women out there—Madonna happens to be one of them—who should be starting their own studios, and producing stories by and for women. If Hollywood concentrates on stick thin women, then come out with some normal sized actresses and make some movies with them. Yes, Hollywood is racist and sexist and sizeist. But since when has Hollywood been about real life? Since the dawn of cinema, people go to movies to escape. Although with ticket and concession prices, I haven't been able to “escape” too frequently lately. (That's the lack of money, on my part.)

If I had a ton of money, I'd have a studio just for kicks. I'd produce movies pairing homely, overweight women with gorgeous, wealthy husbands, because of course, what men REALLY want is an educated female who can make intelligent conversation, regardless of what's on the outside. I'd also make sure that average earning people would live/rent housing that reflects the fact they are department managers at Home Depot, and not put people who earn $40,000 a year in two million dollar homes, which of course, are expensively furnished. And, I'd show plenty of penises, because, well, I'll be able to. Not because it adds anything to the drama of the film, but because I could.

Think about that the next time you see a “serious” film and some breasts pop up. Is it really necessary? Of course not. But Hollywood knows what you want and what you're willing to pay for.

And Hollywood got what it wanted on Oscar night—a boost in the ratings, and plenty of chatter about Seth. I really kind of admire someone who made heaps of money in “the business” and still has the balls to go on television exposing the hypocrisy that keeps it running. Seth MacFarlane, I heart you. A LOT.