Home > Buenos Diaz > Confronting an old nemesis
Confronting an old nemesis
By Gloria Diaz
Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!
Fort Wayne Reader
Bullying has been in the news quite a bit. As someone whoís been bullied (and Iím dealing with an acquaintance who seems to have a nasty put down every time she sees me, but I suspect thatís because sheís jealous of the fact that I DONíT weight 325 pounds, like she does) I can tell you this is not pleasant. I do remember a guy in high school who bullied me, and after wishing something bad would happen so I wouldnít have to deal with him, he got into a bad car accident.
He wasnít the only one, however. I remember minding my own business in English class while in middle school, and some kid hit me over the head with an English textbook. Things got so bad I told my mother, and all four of us (the kid, the guidance counselor, my mother and I) got together to get to the bottom of his behavior. We didnít, of course, but I think being put on the spot rattled him a bit.
So it was a little weird to get a friend request from this asshole. I wanted some answers, so I sent him an email:
I find it interesting you have discovered me on Facebook and that you now want to be friends. Remember Northwood Middle School? Remember the time you hit me over the head with an English textbook? I do. Remember sitting in Mrs. Albrightís office and being questioned by her, my mother and me as to your aberrant behavior? I remember your stunning answer as to why you assaulted me. It was: ďI donít know.Ē I suspect you DID know, but being put on the spot by your victim, her mother and a guidance counselor rendered you stupid.
So why DID you hit me? What did I ever do to you to warrant being hit? I really am curious, as the bullying continued into high school, and I continue to run into miserable types who have nothing better to do than put others down. The bullying has really done a number on me in a lot of ways; my relationships with people are quite difficult at times. Trusting people is a no-no. And the only man I allowed to be intimate with me broke up with me last September.
I carry a lot of repressed rage, C___. You have probably forgotten all about your middle school antics. I havenít. So, Iím proposing a deal: if you allow me to slam a phone book over your head (something a Facebook friend suggested) you may indeed be my Facebook friend. As I see it, that will make us even.
Even if you refuse my proposal, I still want to know why you hit me. Itís not every day I get to confront people from my past.
With utmost curiosity,
I thought the email had the right amount of intelligence, elegance, and psychotic vibe to it, something perhaps Hannibal Lechter would have written (Iíll bet HE never had to deal with bullies!).
I got a response from him. He couldnít remember anything (naturally) but he said he was sorry, and seemed sincere about it. I never did get my answer though, as to WHY he did it.
Apparently, though, my letter kept him awake the night he read it. Good for me.
And as for that acquaintance who always has a nasty put down for me? She posted a nasty birthday card on my Facebook page. So nasty, that when I told co-workers and friends what it said, their jaws dropped. So I posted a picture of a Goodyear blimp on her Facebook page and said, ďsaw this, thought of you. Thanks for making me look thin in comparison.Ē
Not surprisingly, she defriended me from Facebook. No big loss. Maybe it was the pot calling the kettle black, as I have plenty of weight I can lose. However, it felt really good to stand up to someone who has worse problems than I do.
Moral of the story? Be kind to each other. And donít $&!*ing mess with me!