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I'll Bet Beck Never Drove an Ice Cream Truck!

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader


Why is it that Republicans are the only people who think they have “good, traditional values”? The last time I heard a Republican spouting off about behaving oneself, he resigned because he had an affair. Wow. What values.

Then, we have Glenn Beck, who wants to “restore honor” to this country. I think Thomas Jefferson hated cities, so that means we all have to be farmers, I guess. A few of the Founding Fathers hated banks; so I guess those need to go too. Unfortunately, didn’t a few of those guys also have slaves? Well, I guess working for minimum wage isn’t QUITE slavery, but it’s close enough.

So, I guess to restore honor to this country, we need to move to rural areas, own guns, keep our money in our mattresses (really not a bad idea when you think about it) and own slaves. The good ‘ol days! Yee ha!

I almost forgot to mention where women are included in with this “value restoring”. Ladies, I think you know what you have to do. Get married, have kids and keep your mouth shut.

Okay, so maybe this isn’t Beck’s vision. But what happened to having values and morals and walking the walk if you’re talking the talk? I know of a hard-core conservative with two kids from two different women and was okay with his latest girlfriend having the government pay for her pregnancy-related expenses, yet, of course, was not down with nationalized health care. What’s up with that?

The whole world is nuts, so here are my “nutty” values and beliefs. Mind you, I’ve not been tainted with money, so my world view is a bit different from lunatics who get millions for spouting their opinions.

Kids—Don’t have them, never really wanted them. However, I feel very strongly that if I had wanted kids, I would have worked to find a guy who would be my teammate in terms of raising them. No deadbeat, lazy, video-game playing doofus who couldn’t be bothered to heat up some mac and cheese for the rugrats; I would have found a good guy, married, him, saved some money, make sure I had health insurance, THEN got pregnant. Why? Well, if you’re dumb enough to have kids, I think you need to take the responsibility to raise them. If you’re hooked up with an unemployed artist and you work part time for peanuts, now is probably not the best time to start a family. But what I do know?

Not being an asshat—Do onto others as you would have them do on to you. That’s why I don’t throw feces at people, spit on them, or greet my friends with a cheerful “hey, Jackass!” It’s just not nice. Even if I’m having a bad day, I try not to be nasty to other people. If people do something nice for me, I thank them. I don’t accept offers of food with grunts of “okay”.

Realizing there are other people in the world—I donate my excess produce to the food bank or ask people I know if they want some of it. I try to use good judgment in helping people out, but I run the risk of being taken advantage of, which has happened to me more than once. It sucks, but you learn to move on. That’s why if I help people, I try to do it anonymously.

Having a work ethic—I’ve scrambled in order to get by—I’ve taken jobs that were “beneath” me, but since the people who pointed that out never helped me with any concrete offers of jobs, money or food, I defended myself by doing just about anything to get by. Hey, if you really didn’t want me to drive that filthy, dangerous ice cream truck, how come you never offered me any money so I could sit at home and apply for better jobs online? Because it’s easier to point a finger, that’s why. Most people DON’T want to take jobs that are beneath them. I know times are tough, but if you passed up even a part time job while waiting for that dream job, you deserve to run out of food, money and housing. God helps those who help themselves, or so my mother used to tell me.

Those are pretty horrible values and beliefs, aren’t they? They should be, since they came from a Democrat, Liberal, Progressive, or whatever label you prefer to call me. So the next time you blame us for the mess we’re in, realize I don’t work on Wall Street, so I didn’t gamble your money away, I didn’t sell you a house you can’t afford so I could get a decent commission, and I didn’t invade a country that had nothing to do with the terrorist attacks. I’d be willing to bet all those acts were committed, for the most part, by proud Republicans—the party that’s going to restore this nation to its former glory. As for me, I’ll be working my ass off, saving my money, not having kids, and trying not to be sick so as not to further bankrupt this nation, since that crazy health-care reform was passed. I’ll do my part as long as you do yours, okay?

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©2018 Fort Wayne Reader. All rights Reserved.