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The Real Reason She Never Made It To Talk Radio

By Gloria Diaz

Check out Gloria's Blog — Edge of Gloria!

Fort Wayne Reader

2009-11-24

I don’t listen to talk radio. I don’t read the books radio hosts publish. I wondered why this was, and then I did a little research. I found out that of a handful of conservative talk show hosts, two women were the only ones to graduate from college. That would be Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin. I was surprised Malkin went to Oberlin College but she freaked out that she found out it was so liberal. Wouldn’t you do a little research before spending four years at an institution that charges lots of money? Oh well, I did the same thing, so maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on her. She changed from majoring in classical piano to English, which is basically going from a “go nowhere degree” to a “perhaps you’ll find work—if you are willing to do anything degree.” Coulter, of course, has a law degree. You may interpret that any way you like.

But the big conservative hosts—Beck, Hannity, Limbaugh—are all college dropouts. Not surprisingly, Limbaugh was the biggest failure, even flunking a modern ballroom dancing course. It sort of makes sense that everyone listens to them. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 27.2 percent of the American population has a bachelor’s degree or higher. But considering that standards have been lowered everywhere, that’s not an encouraging figure. Shouldn’t there be MORE people with bachelor’s degrees? If college is not that hard, shouldn’t more people give it a try? On the other hand, if half the population has a college degree, but there still aren’t any jobs, it means these people went to school to learn, and they’ll have to be happy with that. With libraries all over the place, and numerous bookstores, one could learn for a lot less than a college education. However, you pay, in more ways than one, for that paper in the frame.

I see the error of my ways now. I should have dropped out of my conservative, Catholic college and focused on publishing my ‘zine, which few people read. If I’d just worked a little harder, I too might have ended up on the airwaves, or have had my own book published now. Damn my college degree! I coulda been a contender!

Oh well. It could happen someday. But it sort of saddens me that people are so lazy (or overworked, as the case may be) that they are so easily led by the voices on the radio. It’s kinda creepy if you think about it. Yes, things aren’t as bad as you think they are. The reason you can’t get a job is that you’re not working hard enough. Capitalism is the best system ever, it’s just going through a rough patch right now.

Yes. And if socialism is evil, how come the banks got a $700 billion dollar payday? It’s only socialism if you help people. If you help businesses, well, that’s good business.
Sure it is. So keep watching NASCAR, keep listening to the radio. Of course the system is great—you’re listening to people for whom it’s worked wonderfully. If I got millions for writing my column, I’d think the system is great too.

But I work three jobs just to feel like I have an okay amount of money coming in. And I still fall short of earning the average weekly wage ($616, according to a recent article in USA Today).

I know, I know. I’m just not working hard enough. So if any of you out there need someone to stay at your house as a third-shift babysitter, you know where to find me. And I promise not to talk politics to your kids. Just don’t make me watch NASCAR and listen to talk radio.