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So Much For A Relaxing Walk

By Gloria Diaz

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Fort Wayne Reader

2007-11-01

I decided to go for a walk on a recent Friday night. I’d spent two weeks waiting for a trainer for my new job. While waiting, I heard several horror stories about bad trainers, smelly trainers, mean trainers, dangerous circumstances. After being paired with an out lesbian who recommended how often I should douche and that my shorts were too short, I went home. After a few calls, I discovered that I couldn’t go to another company because of a technicality, so I realized I’d be heading back to this place, even though a few people suggested I try other carrier. I was supposed to go out with a friend that night, but I was about to burst into tears at any moment, so I figured I’d be lousy company. All I really wanted to do was take a quick walk with my dog, Daphne, and read ‘zines and go to bed.

We hadn’t gone a half block when out of the twilight gloom, what looked like a lab, or variant thereof, made a beeline for us. After shouting “NO!”, I realized that wasn’t going to do it. I scooped Daphne up (she barely weighs 12 pounds) and kept yelling “NO!” over and over and turning away from this dog, who kept jumping up on me. After probably 30 seconds (felt like 300) the dog’s owners finally came out and grabbed it. The struggle the woman was having with this beast indicated that obedience training wasn’t the first thing she thought about when she acquired it. Her husband also came out and asked if I was okay. They apologized, but there went my relaxing walk. Normally, my neighborhood is safe day and night, but this wasn’t the first time I’ve had to watch my back, front and sides for wayward canines. A few years ago, it seemed that barely a night went by without having some dog come out and threaten us. Some nights it was a black lab, another night it might be a Jack Russell terrier. One night, a pair of boxer puppies came out and started barking and jumping on us. The owners came back, yelled for the puppies to get back in the house, then proceeded to probably beat the crap out of them (they were puppies, but they were BOXER puppies, and not tiny at all.)

To all you idiot dog owners out there reading this, please take note: keep your dogs confined. Large, medium, or small, don’t assume that just because Spot hasn’t ever attacked anything, that he WON’T EVER attack anything. As a responsible dog owner, Daphne was enrolled in obedience classes at the tender age of six months. If someone comes over to the house and she starts jumping (which she usually doesn’t) I make sure she doesn’t continue doing it. Having a Silky Terrier jump on you is not quite the same as having a large breed puppy of spazzy temperament claw you like a human scratching post. Add to that experience the wimpy admonitions of the owner saying, “No King, down boy,” in a nice, calm voice, and it makes the most loving dog owner want to beat both puppy and owner with a stick.
I sometimes wonder why I bother. I have a fenced-in yard, keep Daphne on a leash when I walk her, and she’s been fixed. In other words, I’m RESPONSIBLE. Yeah, I sound like a martyr, but I look at dogs and cats as being furry, four-legged children who can’t speak English. As such, pet owners need to teach their pets to not act obnoxious. Hmmm…could this lead to a revolution? Responsible pet owners someday becoming responsible parents?
Please, don’t get me started.